Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

10.27.2014

Natural Labor and Delivery in Okinawa

Sawyer's birth story


Warning...I go into detail, so if you don't want to hear it all, don't read it!


Let's go back in time to about 8 months ago...

At nearly 41 weeks pregnant, I was enormous...we were waiting patiently for me to go into labor and it felt like it would never happen.
I decided that I did not want to be induced like I was with Luke (our firstborn)  See his birth story here:
Luke's birth story


So we were anxious for it to begin naturally, because if you get to 42 weeks, there are certain risks and intervention is necessary.  The above photo is 2 days before the birth!!  Of course, the safety of our baby was first priority, but I really wanted nature to take it's course.  I wanted a completely natural pregnancy, no medication and little intervention.  We were living in Okinawa, Japan and home birth was not an feasible option and with our insurance it made more sense to have the baby at the Okinawa Naval Hospital.  It was a newly built hospital and I felt comfortable giving birth there, as long as they respected my wishes...which they did!  


At 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant, huge, uncomfortable and so so so anxious, I started feeling mild contractions.  Up until this point, I thought every little feeling meant labor.  I had 3 counts of ‘false labor’ a few days earlier, when legitimate contractions were coming in increments for an hour or so, then they would stop.  So, I was very keen on what to look for and very in tune with my body.



Early, early, in the wee hours of the morning of February 4th (my father’s 60th birthday!), around 2:30am, I woke up to mild cramping and belly tightening.  I thought this could be another false alarm, but I wasn’t really able to go back to sleep.  So I got up and had a bowl of cereal and tried timing them.  They were erratic at first, but soon started coming around 8 to 10 minutes apart.  By 5am, they still hadn’t stopped, so I woke Adam up with excitement that this could be it!!


All morning I continued to feel them.  My 2 year old got up, and we played and had breakfast, the contractions were still fairly mild at this point, but still coming!  When people say that you'll 'just know' when it's real labor...they were right.  Around 11am, we put our son down for a nap, and were sitting on the couch talking and timing contractions.  They were about 7-8 minutes apart, very regular and getting more uncomfortable.  Then I felt a literal ‘POP’ come from down there.  This was around 11:30am.  It felt like the baby kicked something and made it burst.  I stood up and there was a trickle of water…not a ton of water, but a definite trickle.  It was happening!  My body was doing what it was meant to do...so empowering, as a woman, to realize what your body is capable of!

We called our sitter and started getting things ready to go!  As we waited for her and prepared, my contractions became much more intense.  I had to stop what I was doing and let each contraction pass…but I was still able to talk through them.  

As soon as we got in the car, they became very painful.  They were about 5 minutes apart, and much stronger than before.  I was gripping the seatbelt as we drove and couldn’t talk through them.  They were coming in very clear waves.  I knew when they were peaking in intensity and also when they were almost finished.  Luckily though, I had good calm breaks in between and was coherent enough to remember the drive and think clearly.

We got to the hospital and as we were walking inside from the parking lot, we had to stop 3 times for contractions.  I just needed to stop and hold onto something.  I’m sure we were getting lots of looks!  We got up to L&D and were admitted into triage to be checked.  She swabbed for amniotic fluid, which was obviously positive.  I was also 5 cm and nearly 90% effaced.  Sawyer was doing fine and   under no stress.  They admitted us into our own room at that point, which was around 12:30pm.  Contractions were steadily getting stronger and closer together.

Our nurse came in and it was my friend, Lily’s Mom from Lukes swim lessons that he took over the summer.  It was refreshing to see a familiar face.  She was so nice and helpful…I, however, was starting to have a hard time conversing and concentrating.  The contractions were every 3 minutes and were seriously no joke!  Full mind, body and soul were going into every one; all the muscles in my body would tighten; my huge belly would become hard as a rock; there was so much pressure down below…The contractions were already much stronger than anything I experienced with Luke.  I assumed that it would be another 5 hours of this…I mean, I still had 5 cm to go right?  The nurse instructed me to call them when I felt the strong urge to push even when I wasn’t having a contraction.  Then they sort of left me to my labor.  About an hour passed and they were intermittently checking my blood pressure.  It felt like ages!  I wanted a natural birth, but was beginning to doubt if I could go another 4 or 5 hours of the contractions that I was feeling.

I didn’t feel like I was having a break at all.  They were so intense, and only around a minute or 2 apart.  I had such a tight grip on the side railing of the hospital bed, that my knuckles were turning white.  Adam was there constantly telling me to breath and relax when I had a break, which was a good reminder.  I remember feeling so so hot and my entire body was sweating.  He wrapped a few ice cubes in a towel and tried to cool me down.  He was so encouraging, telling me how great I was doing, reminding me that it would all be over soon and it wouldn’t be long before we had our baby boy in our arms.

Suddenly, there was a huge gush, really huge.  I remember telling Adam to call the nurse ASAP…he looked under the sheet and saw lots of water, mucus, and blood.  This was my official water breaking and from that point on, there were no more breaks.  My body was pushing the baby out, and even though I was mentally trying to stop it, my body would contract and with that came my muscles pushing out his head.  The nurse came in and within minutes there were about 10 people in the room busying themselves and preparing for a baby.  The nurse checked me and Adam said, with wide eyes that she whispered to the nurse next to her that I was fully dilated and baby’s head was at +3 station.
The nurses were telling me not to push, hold it in, breath and blow air out like I was blowing out a candle…don’t push, don’t push.
This was the hardest part of the labor, it was one unending, extremely painful contraction, and my body was expelling a baby whether we were ready or not.  I was yelling back at the nurses that I was pushing, I couldn’t help it, my body was pushing!!!  I wasn't in control!   It was the craziest most intense feeling.  Adam said he looked down the hallway and saw the midwife literally sprinting to our room.  As soon as she got there and it was time to push, his head was crowning.  It felt like time stopped, everyone was ready. 
I pushed once and everyone was yelling that they could see his head, one more push. 
On the second push, at 2:48pm, he was out…the feeling of him, along with all the fluid, finally flooding out of me, was probably the best feeling I’ve ever felt…I literally let out a huge yell of relief, exhaustion, happiness, not to mention the emotion and love…looking up into my husbands eyes and seeing his amazement.  It was all so surreal, beautiful and perfect.  That feeling...wow.  Everyone in the room smiling, cheering, so proud of me.  Seeing my husband beaming with pride.  It's overwhelming.  


They immediately put Sawyer on my chest.  He was perfect.  7lbs 14 oz, 20 inches long, blonde hair, dark blue eyes.  We delayed the cord clamping until it was finished pumping.
He latched and nursed right off the bat.  We had a long time for skin to skin.  His wide eyes stared up at us as we spoke to him.  We were instantly so in love.   He nursed for 30 minutes!  What a good boy!  
I can honestly say, that it could not have gone any more perfectly.  I feel very blessed that I was able to have this experience, because I know the other side of this.  With my firstborn, it was the doctors dictating everything...but this time it was my body leading us, and it is so empowering!  I felt like a warrior woman, creating a perfect human over 10 months, and giving birth to him, on my own, with no help.  My body did exactly what it was supposed to do.  It wasn't easy, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I must say, after this experience, I am not claiming to be a huge advocate of natural birth.  It was right for me, and if you have a high tolerance for pain, it is right for you too.  But for many Mama's out there, epidurals are wonderful and a much needed remedy to give you the wonderful gift of having a pleasant birthing experience.  I think that having the memory of your child's birth as pain and difficulty is not healthy.  It's important to have a positive experience.  
It's miraculous and as long as it results in a healthy baby your experience will be perfect!!
Here are a few photos of our sweet Sawyer after birth.  







 For any mama's out there who are interested in a natural birthing experience at the Okinawa Naval Hospital,  but don't know what to expect, let me help ease your fears.  They were wonderful in respecting my decision!  They encouraged me and were kind, calm and helpful.  It could not have been better for me.  One thing I learned the second time around is that you must vocalize what you want and stand by your decision.  Do your research and know what is best for you and your body.
They were so respectful of my wishes to have a natural birth, delayed cord clamping (Cord Clamping info) , skin on skin immediately after birth, breastfeeding right away, delaying a baby bath (Delay baby bath) and on and on. They were awesome.  Also, with this being my second birth, and the baby was healthy and passed all of the tests, we were able to leave the hospital after 24 hours.
Here we are leaving with our sweet baby.  I love looking back at this video.  So precious!

9.14.2014

Conversations with a 2 year old

My son Luke has certainly found his voice.
He is a chatterbox and usually cracks us up with the things he comes up with.
It's in his honor that I start 'Convos with my 2 year old'  and share some of the ridiculous things he says...He is learning as he goes and it's so fun to watch!

This morning:

Luke:  'What you doing Mommy?'
Me: 'Changing your brother's diaper.'
Luke: 'Oooh.  Wow.  That looks like hard work.'

Yesterday while discussing Halloween costumes...

Luke:  ' I going to be Superman.  I going to be Batman.  I going to be a monster.  I want to be a princess. I want to be a giraffey.  I want to be Mickey Mouse.  I want to be a polar bear.  I going to be a lion and say Rooooaaarrr'
Me:  'What should I be for Halloween?'
Luke:  'You going to be Superman.  Then I going to be Batman and Superman.'

Got it.

9.13.2014

Looking back

If you look back a few posts, you will see how our journey became very infant oriented...obviously so did our lives. 
I will post some of the highlights of life with a baby in Japan as a military family.
Looking back is surreal.  What an adventure we had!!!

First of all...check out this snail in Okinawa.  The snails there were so huge and apparently poisonous.  We wouldn't let our dog go near them.

Here's a photo I took while testing out my new Nikon D7000 camera.  As a birthday gift last year, I was able to add a 50mm lens to my arsenal.  Look at the detail!


 This was a hike we went on testing out this backpack carrier.  I am so in love with this photo of Adam and Luke.  I want to blow it up and frame it.  Same expression?!
 Every hike that we went on in Oki was full of curvy tree roots, big leaves and palms, heavy canopies.

Ketchup

How do you like the new header?  Can you spot the hidden creature in the picture?  I like it...it was recently taken while on a canoe trip on the Little Spokane river.  Just before we put the boat in the water, I looked up and saw this beautiful plant being illuminated by the sun.  I didn't realize until we were back at home looking at the photos...there was a little creature that decided to make his photographic debut.  Pretty fun find!
 So...I'm back!
Let’s play CATCHUP!
(This reminds me of a funny joke…name that movie. 
"Three tomatoes are walking down the street- a Papa tomato, a Mama tomato, and a little Baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind. Papa tomato gets angry, goes over to the Baby tomato, and smooshes him... and says, catch up!")

Ok, what was I saying…Yes, we need to catch up.


It’s been awhile!  My last post was 11.13.2012…that is almost 2 years.
So much has happened since then.

I fell off the blog wagon because I started a family.  Also, my space was full on blogspot and I wasn’t sure if my content would be worthy of paying for the website.
Well,  I came to a conclusion recently…someone might possibly be interested in my musings, photography, family, military life, travel, art, dreams and future plans, pretty stuff I find on the interwebs,…among all the other things you might read here.
I look at all of the photos that I’ve taken since then and realize I now have a ton of content.  So I decided to start churning out the old blog again.  Brush away the dust and cobwebs.  Put on a clean pair of slacks.  Detangle these memories a little bit and get chronological.
Hopefully  someone can take something from it…These blogs will usually be written while the kids are asleep or I can get a spare moment of peace.
I will start posting about 3 times per week.
 If you’ve never read my blog before…I encourage you to go back and see the dreamy life I had before my even dreamier life now.  Since you don’t really know me yet, I should warn you…I’m quite happy.  So if you’re not happy, maybe you can relate to something here, and it brightens your day.  If you are happy, then we’ll get along fantastically.

I have 2 sons.
Latest introduction:





We recently moved from the beautiful island of Okinawa, Japan to Spokane, Washington.

We are a military family...for now.  We have big decisions ahead of us and we can't wait to see what will happen...We are only in Spokane until mid 2015.  After that...who knows!?!
It's been crazy coming from a very hot, humid, subtropical climate to a very dry and cold climate (6 month winters...We just experienced below 40deg temps for the first time in 3 years!)  But we are adjusting.  We love it here...surrounded by natural beauty and we still have a lot more exploring to do!

Read along.  Enjoy and share!!

Sarah Fillman
Lens Mission Blog

11.01.2012

New blog for babe

I've had this blog for a few years.  It started as a photography blog and slowly transformed into a story of my life and adventures.  This includes starting a family!
If I updated this blog as much as I used to, it would be flooded with photos of our baby boy, Lucas.  I've decided that he deserves a blog of his own.  It's been live for a while and I am just now sharing it with those of you who are interested in seeing that sweet darling boy grow up.  Being in Japan, it's hard to share the momentous occasions and all of the adorable-ness that a baby brings, with family back home.  So...this is primarily for you.

www.lilmilks.blogspot.com

And one final photo:

5.31.2012

The sweet life

 We are all so in love with each other...it's what life is all about.
 Luke in one of his many cloth diapers.  Cloth diapering has become such a staple.  Love it, for his soft little butt, and our dying environment.

 Many friends!

 Lots of mommy time. 
 Raising a child is so much to take in...there are the day to day challenges, but when I step back and think about it on a grander scale, it's mind blowing.  Luke, our little human that we created, will become who he is based entirely on our decisions as parents for the next 20 years.  wtf?  Responsibility on a whole new level. 
 Cinder agrees...it's hard at times, but SO rewarding! She sneaks in her toe kisses all the time, runs to his crib when he wakes from naps, and is always curious what he is screaming about.  They are going to be best friends.  He watches her all the time...sometimes she is the only thing that will make him smile.


My poorly neglected blog...sorry but it's better than a neglected baby.  Not as much time on my hands anymore...which is why this is short and sweet.  Maybe I should change this blog to BabyFillman Photography Blog!!

2.18.2012

Welcome to the world!

February 11, 2012 at 5:34 pm our son Lucas Rushton was born at Lester Naval Hospital, Okinawa, Japan.
Weighing in at 6 lbs 5 oz, 19.3 inches long.  He came out wide-eyed, screaming and perfect.

We came into the hospital when I was 34 weeks, 3 days pregnant because of a tiny leak of amniotic fluid and the doc said she wanted to make sure everything was ok...we thought they would check me out and send me home...
Nope!
They told us I was already 2cm dialated, 80% effaced and his head was pretty low.  However, I was by no means in labor....
We were put into a delivery room and I was induced at 4:30 pm on Feb. 10th with pitocin (pidevil)...I really wanted a natural birth, so for 20 hours I endured pitocin-enduced contractions, medication free.  Very very intense unnatural contractions!  They continued to increase the volume of pitocin throughout the night, until it reached a point when I was having no breaks between contractions, delirious with labor pain, the pain level peaked...
Doc came in continuously to check my dilation...around the 20 hour mark, after 8 hours I had not changed from 5 cm dilated; very discouraging news...even worse, they wanted to really amp up the pitocin...that's when (through gritted teeth) I told them I needed the epidural.
About 30 minutes later, I was laid out in the bed, napping and smiling.  Within 3 hours, he was getting very low and I was getting an intense urge to push.  They checked me and when the nurse said I was 9 cm dilated, it was pure joy!!!
About an hour later, it was time...the nurse wanted me to push just to see if I could move him at all.  Adam grabbed one leg, nurse grabbed the other, I curled around my contracting belly and pushed with a strength and intensity that I didn't know I was capable of...Yep, it was time.  I heard Adam say "woah, is that the head?"  The nurse said "Stop pushing!!  I need to get the doctor!"  The nurse alerted the doc... she told me typically it could be 1-2 hours of steady pushing...I needed my energy now.
I was SO ready.  After about 9 pushes in 12 minutes, out came a healthy, wide-eyed, screaming little boy.  He was immediately placed on my chest.  See video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ed3471cuHdE&feature=youtu.be


Next was:
Complete elation, surreal blissful peace, delirium, enchanting jubilation...rejoicing, love, love so much love, tears, disbelief, more love.


Still in hospital photos:

 Milk drunk
Finally home


I am a mother.

He couldn't be more perfect, more healthy or alert...he is ours forever, our sweet son.  We love him more than life itself.  This feeling that we cannot describe is wow.  I've always wondered what it would be like.

Well...my heart has left my body.  It is external now...can't describe it any other way.